The yahrzeit candle: what it is, when to light it, and how
The yahrzeit candle is one of the most heartfelt customs in a Jewish home. A person lights a small candle in memory of a loved one, and it burns beside the family for a full day. This guide explains the idea behind the custom, when and how to light, and what to do in the harder cases: Shabbat, Yom Tov, a hospital, and the first year.
What a yahrzeit candle is
A yahrzeit candle, also called a memorial candle or a neshama candle, is lit on the anniversary of a person's passing. The usual kind is a small glass filled with wax or oil, with a wick, made to burn for almost a full day without anyone touching it. Yahrzeit is a Yiddish word meaning "time of the year," and on that day families gather to remember.
It helps to know that lighting a yahrzeit candle is a custom of the Jewish people, not an obligation stated in the Talmud. It is an old and widely kept custom among Ashkenazi, Sephardi and Mizrachi communities alike, and most authorities consider it a good practice worth keeping. Someone who has no candle on the day has not transgressed anything, but those who light it are careful about it.
The source: the soul is the lamp of G-d
The idea behind the custom comes from Proverbs 20:27: "The soul of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the chambers of the innermost being." The verse compares the soul to a flame. A flame always rises upward and lights what is around it, and so the soul rises and gives light. From here comes the practice of lighting a flame on the anniversary, to give the soul some light and to remind us of the person who was.
There is also a hint in the Hebrew language. The letters of the word neshama, soul, are the letters of the word mishna in a different order. That is why many learn Mishnayot in memory of the departed, especially chapters whose first letters spell the name of the person. Another verse often quoted is "For a commandment is a lamp, and Torah is light" (Proverbs 6:23), which teaches that real light is created through mitzvot and study.
When to light
Light on the anniversary of the passing according to the Hebrew date. The Jewish day begins at night, so the candle is lit on the evening before, around sunset or at nightfall, and it burns through the night and all of the next day. That way it burns for the whole Hebrew date of the passing.
If you want to know how to determine the exact date, especially after nightfall or in the month of Adar, see our guide on how to calculate a Hebrew yahrzeit date. If you would like the site to keep the dates and show you when the next candle is due, press the yahrzeit candle button on the main screen.
How long it burns
The regular candles sold in stores are usually marked 24 or 25 hours, and there are longer kinds, of 48 hours and even seven days. For the anniversary itself a one day candle is enough. If a candle goes out partway through, light another, and there is no problem. Those who are most careful choose a candle that promises at least 25 hours so that it does not go out before the day ends.
Check the candle ahead of time. Some candles run out earlier than the label says, especially in a warm house or in a draft. A good candle with a thick cup and a good wick is worth it.
How and where to light
Place the candle on a stable, heat resistant surface, away from curtains, paper tablecloths and small children. If you have pets, make sure it cannot be knocked over. A good place is one where the candle can be seen: the living room, the kitchen, and in many homes next to a photograph. It does not have to be in a particular room or by a window.
There is no blessing for a yahrzeit candle, since it is not a commandment spelled out in the Torah but a custom of remembrance. Many people say a few words as they light, a psalm or a short prayer for the elevation of the soul, and mention the name of the departed and the name of the mother, as is customary in prayers for the deceased.
What else is done on the anniversary
- Saying Kaddish with a minyan. In many Ashkenazi communities the one observing the yahrzeit also leads the prayers.
- Learning Mishnayot or a chapter of Psalms in memory of the soul, ideally a chapter whose first letters spell the name.
- Giving charity in memory of the person, and if possible organizing a class or a meal of learning in honor of the day.
- Visiting the grave and reciting Psalms there. Many visit on the anniversary itself.
- Some Ashkenazi communities fast on the anniversary of a parent, and other communities, such as Chabad, do not. It is a matter of family and community custom.
Friday, Shabbat and Yom Tov
When the anniversary falls on Shabbat, light the candle on Friday before you light the Shabbat candles, because a flame may not be kindled on Shabbat. A candle lit before the time keeps burning all through Shabbat without any problem. Choose a size that will not go out in the middle, because it may not be relit on Shabbat.
On Yom Tov the law is more lenient. A new fire may not be kindled, but it is permitted to transfer a flame from an existing one for a need of the day. So many authorities allow lighting a memorial candle on Yom Tov from a flame that was burning before the holiday, such as the holiday candles or a candle left burning in advance. Do not light it from a match on Yom Tov. On Shabbat, even when Shabbat falls during a holiday, a flame may not be transferred.
For more complicated questions, such as the second day of Yom Tov in the diaspora or a Shabbat that is also a holiday, please ask your rabbi. The details of candle lighting on the holidays are in our guide to Yom Tov candle lighting.
An electric candle: when it fits
Sometimes a real flame is impossible, for example in a hospital, in a ward with oxygen, in a dorm, or in a care home that bans any open flame. In such a case some rabbis permit an electric candle or an LED light that imitates a flame, and see it as an appropriate way to keep the custom. It is not the same as a real candle, because the custom is based on fire, but where there is no other option it is a dignified solution.
If you can, a real candle in a permitted place is preferable, for example at a relative's home. If the situation requires an electric candle, consult your rabbi, because guidance differs among communities.
The first year after a loss
During the first seven days after the burial, the days of shiva, it is customary to keep a candle burning in the house of mourning, usually a memorial candle that burns for the whole week. After that come the thirty days, and at the end of the year of mourning comes the first yahrzeit, usually marked with a gathering at the grave and a family meeting.
From then on you light every year on the Hebrew date. Many families use the day to gather, learn, tell stories about the person and pass them on to the next generation. This may be the most precious part of the memorial candle: it invites us to talk.
For whom we light
The common custom is to light for parents and for other close relatives: a spouse, siblings and children. Some also light for grandparents, teachers or close friends. There is no limit, and the candle is meant for remembering. Each of the descendants may light a candle of their own, and a family need not make do with just one.
For those whose date of death is unknown, for example victims of the Holocaust, the Chief Rabbinate of Israel set the Tenth of Tevet as a general day of Kaddish, when it is customary to light a candle and say Kaddish. If you do not know the date for a loved one, you can choose a date with your rabbi or observe the Tenth of Tevet.
A few words about safety
- Never leave a burning candle unattended in a home with small children or pets.
- Place it on a plate or tray that will not burn, not on thin plastic or wood.
- Do not put a glass candle next to a heat source, because the glass can crack.
- Do not try to move a candle with melted wax, and never put it out with water.
Questions and answers
Is it required to light a yahrzeit candle?
No. It is an old and widely kept custom, but not an obligation from the Torah or the Talmud. Nearly all communities keep it, and many are very careful about it.
When do I light the yahrzeit candle?
On the evening before the anniversary by the Hebrew date, around sunset or at nightfall. It burns all night and all the next day.
How long does a yahrzeit candle burn?
Standard candles burn 24 to 25 hours. There are also 48 hour and seven day candles. Choose one that promises at least 25 hours.
What if the yahrzeit falls on Shabbat?
Light the candle on Friday before Shabbat begins, since a flame may not be kindled on Shabbat. It will keep burning throughout Shabbat.
May I light a yahrzeit candle on Yom Tov?
Many authorities allow it, but only from an existing flame that was burning before the holiday, not from a match. On Shabbat a flame may not be transferred, even within a holiday.
May an electric candle replace a real one?
Where fire is not possible, such as in a hospital, some rabbis permit an electric candle. Please consult your rabbi.
Is there a blessing on a yahrzeit candle?
No, since it is a custom of remembrance and not a commandment. You may say Psalms or a short prayer for the elevation of the soul.
What do you say when lighting a yahrzeit candle?
There is no fixed text. Many say a chapter of Psalms, especially one whose letters spell the name of the departed, and mention the name and the name of the mother.
More guides
- How to calculate a Hebrew yahrzeit date: Adar, nightfall and common questions
- Yizkor and memorial candles on the holidays: the four times of the year
- Yom Tov candle lighting: an existing flame, Shehecheyanu and Yom Kippur