The meaning and history of Shabbat candles: shalom bayis and customs
Why candles specifically? Because light is what makes a house a place where people can sit in peace. Here are the sources of the mitzvah and the meaning that has accompanied it through the generations.
Shalom bayis
The central reason given for Shabbat candles is shalom bayis, peace in the home. The Talmud in tractate Shabbat, page 23, discusses what takes precedence when there is not enough money for both: the household Shabbat light or the Chanukah light. It rules that the household light comes first, because of shalom bayis. On Shabbat, when the whole family sits down to eat, a light shining on the table means that no one will stumble in the dark and no one has to search. It is a light that brings calm.
The Rambam writes in the laws of Shabbat, chapter 5, that lighting the candle is part of honoring Shabbat and delighting in Shabbat, and that it also carries the aspect of shalom bayis.
Sources in the Talmud and Mishnah
The Talmud in tractate Shabbat, pages 23 and 25, speaks of the obligation to light a candle on Shabbat eve and the merit in doing so. One of the Sages' statements there is that someone who is regular with the candle will have children who are Torah scholars. This is said as encouragement and not as a guarantee. The Mishnah in tractate Shabbat, chapter 2, counts the lighting of the candle among the three things women are called to be careful about, and from it we learn how important the mitzvah is in the home.
Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim, chapter 263, gathers the laws: who lights, where, with what oil and wick, and when. The Mishnah Berurah adds explanations and details.
A mitzvah of women, and of men too
The mitzvah rests on everyone in the household, and the woman lights on behalf of the home. The common reason is that she is the heart of the home and responsible for its atmosphere. The Midrash Bereshis Rabbah tells that in the tent of Sarah our matriarch a light burned from Shabbat eve to Shabbat eve, and that when Rivkah entered the tent it returned.
A man who has no wife, or who lives alone, lights for himself, and it is his mitzvah to the same degree. The same applies to students, soldiers and people staying in hotels.
Customs
- A candle for each child: it is common to add a candle for each child born, as a sign that the light of the home grows with the family.
- Covering the eyes: after lighting we cover our eyes, and in that moment many women quietly pray for their children and loved ones.
- Charity before lighting: in many homes people put a coin in a charity box before lighting.
- Welcoming Shabbat: after lighting we say "Shabbat shalom" and bless the members of the household.
What it means to a person today
In a world full of screens, lighting a candle is an act that slows us down. From the moment the candles burn, people put down the phone and begin to look at each other. That small moment, one flame and half a minute of quiet, is what marks the entry into Shabbat. In many homes children remember the scent of the candles and the sound of the blessing for years.
And some people join the mitzvah only now. There is no need to begin everything at once: you can start with one candle, and add over time. The candles themselves are the beginning.
A note
We have brought here well known sources and common customs. Community customs differ, and for questions of practical halacha please turn to a rabbi.
More guides
- How Shabbat candle lighting works: a complete guide
- Havdalah step by step: wine, spices, flame and Hamavdil
- Yom Tov candle lighting: an existing flame, Shehecheyanu and Yom Kippur